I’m not dead – I’m only sleeping.

The mysterious workings of Mr. Pencil

I know, I know, I haven’t posted in the longest while. Things have been a little hectic in Pencil World and I have had to use all the animal cunning at my disposal to set things right. Plus I’ve had four seasons of The Wire to plough through, and that shit takes time, son.

For real.

Anyhoo, later today at some point I’ll be shifting this outfit to its new home over at The Lost Levels. I even had that clever lady from Kinokofry pen me a super-sweet new banner, so mosey on over and check it out – she’s heaps talented. HEAPS. I’ll also be posting the photos of our young Loco Roco’s new home in sunny WA – that’s Washington, folks, not to be confused with Western Australia. (What kind of a massive noob would do that?? LOLOLOL)

With the winner announced we’ve finally started on Wave 2 of the Grand Piñata Project. What are we making? Stay tuned to The Lost Levels and Zero Light Seeds to find out!

Pencil out!

Bioshock 2 multiplayer details revealed – along with a bunch of sweet art/screenshots

Everybody loved Mr. Burns' Halloween Costume

Take 2 has announced its partnership with Digital Extremes to develop the multiplayer modes for Bioshock 2. For those of you who don’t know – Digital Extremes are the gang behind Unreal and Unreal Tournament, so their multiplayer FPS credentials are about as solid as you can get.

The MP will be a prequel to the original story, putting us in the squelchy shoes of a Plasmid test subject for Sinclair solutions – the “premier provider of Plasmids and Tonics in the underwater city of Rapture.”

Smashing noobs earns XP, which can in turn be used to unlock new weapons, plasmids and tonics. According to Cristoph Hartmann, President of 2k, these can be cobbled together to create “hundreds of different combinations, allowing players to develop a unique character that caters to their playing style.” The multiplayer experience will also feature Rapture before it was “reclaimed” by the ocean, and will feature fully reworked versions of the Kashmir Restaurant and Mercury Suites in which to do battle.

Alongside their brief press release, 2k were also kind enough to send out a bunch of sweet assets, a whole bunch of which you will find after the jump.

Enjoy!

Natural Selection

Oh noes - the cruel drunk is stealing Boutros Boutros-Ghali!

Remember how I dropped that CAPS-LOCKED cliffhanger at the end of my last post? You know, the one where I said “THE ADVENTURE CONTINUES?” Well, it did and, thanks to my natural immunity to pig fever, still does.

Brace yourselves for the ultimate prize giveaway of all time!

¡Viva Piñata!

So. I’ve been pretty quiet for a while. Reports of my early demise were grossly exaggerated, however, despite a pretty horrible dose of the man flu, which had me laid out for a week or so. Post-recovery I’ve been engaged in a TOP SECRET PROJECT, which finally reached fruition last weekend. Unlike my last such project (bees + tiny cameras + dressing rooms), this one actually worked and had the added bonus of being entirely legal.

Don't cry for me, I'm already dead. (No, I am only sleeping!)

The creative juices got rolling when my girlfriend and I jointly decided told me our housewarming was going to be Mexican themed. “OK gringa,” I said, and that was that. With the girlfriend out of town for the weekend, I was issued strict orders to tidy the house, put up more outside lighting, unpack the last boxes from our move and tidy the study. Somehow this got lost in translation. What I really did was this:

1. Turned the study into a war-zone.

2. Devised a scheme to make home-made piñata.

The war-zone was pretty boring, so I’m going to write about the crazy trip that was making a piñata.

For the full list of things you’ll need to make the piñata, refer to Zero Light Seeds. Although, being an incompetent list-writer, Tracey failed to mention that aside from the glue, balloons and newspaper, you will also need a wire coat-hanger.

Once you have your bits and pieces this is what you will need to do:

1. Identify a target
2. Make the infrastructure for your papier mache marvel
3. Combine spooj and paper to make an impenetrable barrier
4. Fill your creation with life (and lollies)
5. Get some drunk bastard to smash the heck out of all your hard work and kick the lollies over the balcony 

Once you have done these several things you will end up with something that looks a lot like this:

El Burro wanted to remind the loco rocos that whispering was very inconsiderate.

The first prediction has come true – Armageddon approaches.

Thanks to a stunning lack of foresight on the part of my strata management company, my new apartment penthouse can’t get Foxtel IQ. With no “Live Pause” I find myself reduced to the status of the common or garden peon, and must watch TV as it actually happens. I’m surprised I don’t have to hoist my faeces over the balcony and into the street so the other peons can make it into huts or whatever else it is those people do for fun.

Note to peasants: Manna from heaven doesn't usually have peanuts in it.